CLEVELAND, OH - In a strange fusion of Orwellian dystopia and sporting event fandom, Cleveland native Joe Baker eagerly anticipates the debut of the United States' new social credit system. He firmly believes his accrued goodwill could, if traded judiciously, afford him a hot dog at the next Indians baseball game.
"I've been holding doors open for people, returning shopping carts, even recycling," said Baker, 42, an accountant by trade and a ballpark hot dog enthusiast by heart. "If that doesn't earn me a hot dog, I don't know what will."
While the specifics of the impending system are still under wraps, Baker has shown unrelenting optimism, suggesting a tiered system where good deeds are traded for tangible rewards, such as ballpark franks.
Baker's friends, however, are less than convinced.
"Joe's always been a dreamer," said long-time friend and colleague Rebecca Daniels, who will gladly trade her credit score for a decent cup of coffee. "Last year, he started a rumor that Bitcoin could be swapped for popcorn at the movie theater."
In response to Baker's speculations, a White House spokesperson provided a brief statement: "The Social Credit System is designed to foster a community of trust and compliance. However, its rewards system does not currently include provisions for the exchange of points for hot dogs or any other culinary items at sports events."
Baker remains hopeful, nevertheless. "Look, I'm just a guy trying to enjoy America's favorite pastime. If that means being an outstanding citizen, then I'm all for it," he said. "Now, if they throw in a beer with that hot dog, I might just start volunteering at the local animal shelter."
At press time, Baker was spotted helping an elderly lady cross the street while sporting his Indians cap, perhaps a clever stratagem to earn more points, or just the hopeful optimism of a man yearning for his ballpark frank.