Trump, apparently not content to simply dispute his son's ageist claims, sought to underscore his virile vigor by comparing himself to one of the animal kingdom's most nimble creatures and humanity's most potent power source. "I’m as spry as a gazelle and twice as quick! More energy than a nuclear reactor!" he proclaimed, leaving the public to ponder if this was merely metaphorical bravado or a surprisingly literal admission of a hybrid gazelle-nuclear DNA splice.
We've had to implement a new section in our checkout system just to keep up with the accidental cocaine findings.
In a classic Biden gaffe, border collies are now sniffing out tacos instead of smugglers. Talk about paws for alarm!
A shot in the dark: Biden fan's attempt at world's most ironic mass shooting to advocate for gun control leaves everyone baffled. Oops!